Assusie on Assusie banter (we are not sure they are speaking english)

[super slim]

ratz you kickin the can and stirring the pot or what we really are all winners being here in the first place..........adelaide included. but i will bite.

as i said before adelaide is a beautiful great city but it is not the "best" despite being the debatable cycling capital of australia. it could not be the overall best to any unbiased free thinker like yourself and I.

melbourne always comes out as the most liveable city in australia. sydney as the most beautiful..... cant beat that now very clean harbour. they even get whales visiting the harbour now.

and newcastle is a newly polished jewel undiscovered by the masses thanks to it's admittedly dirty steel making past. long may she stay that way.

adelaide is seen as the city of churches where they pray for clean water and a decent football team.

our famous aussie singer/ song writer paul kelly sings about adelaide........... that nothing ever happens except the same as last year now where do you go on a saturday night and "all the kings men and horses would not drag me back again to adelaide" just paul's opinion of course.

where once stood a cricket ground to rival the sydney cricket ground is now a footie oval garish to the extreme. an abomination of a mistake pandering to money.

too easy hey ratz hmmm okay............ well let me ask you as a free thinker and with the wonders of internet research where would you live in australia if you had to make a choice ????? adelaide or newcastle????

so live in a city of 1.3 million thirsty people who cannot get there soap to lather in the brown hard smelly water which is in short supply thus reduced and resigned to drinking de-sal . where you drive 15klm inland and you are in the desert. where they have a ferry that does not run. where they play a victorian silly game.

or in a working class provincial town of around 70,000 souls just 2 hours drive from australia's major city of sydney .
with a clean exported plentiful supply of soft soap lathering crystal clear water with a traffic peak hour of less than that. great beaches , full employment , even climate without the extremes of adelaide , friendly egalitarian people. a developed food wine entertainment scene. a mtb park state nature reserve within 5klm of city centre fronted by 3 surf beaches and backed by my beloved training track. glenrock reserve is a gem. there is sound reason why nsw is the most populace state. not just because of the more amenable climate. but simply because it really is the best place to live. i rest my case on the numbers. and the facts. and my clearly objective benign scientific reasonable decision to live in beaut newie.

you are what you eat drink breathe and think. novacastrians go go go.... now that we have got rid of our black lung coal dusted cough cough coughs . you can now walk around at night without coming home dirty

Dear (In the LONG PAST ) Jond!
Adelaide was one of only three ports in the world, where water for ships boilers were NOT allowed to be used, BUT this was only up to 1974, when the first and largest water filtration plant was installed at Happy Valley! AND the bath water turned from Murray brown, to crystal clear!!! AND in 1995 relatively soft at 110-120 mg/L CaCO3, compared to Newcastle at 40-85 mg/L!!!

Our prays for clean water were answered in 1974, and the MIGHTY CROWS won Back to Back AFL Premierships in 1997/1998!!!!

Has Newcastle ACTUALLY got a Rugby (That stop go game, where the size of the thighs, shortness of kneck, and no brains, is the most important aspect of a player!) (Union or League) team that plays in the National completions!
The game that is disjointed as there are TWO code, Union, and League, with very similar rules!!!

BUT at least it is faster flowing than American grid iron, where a player is only on the field for 5 minutes at a time!!! not 4*20 min quarters = 80 minutes PLAY TIME for AFL, or 80 mins for rugby , BUT the actual play time is only 33% to 40% of that!!!
http://www.theroar.com.au/2012/09/03/how-long-is-a-rugby-match-really/

And for USA NFL 11 minutes PLAY time in 90 minutes game time
http://qz.com/150577/an-average-nfl-game-more-than-100-commercials-and-just-11-minutes-of-play/
No wonder having good looking Cheer Leaders is SO important to keep the audience entertained, as a Play only lasts 4 seconds!!!
That does NOT say much for the American Man!!!!

Adelaide has an Australian MTB event site at Eagle MTB Park 12 Km from the CBD,
http://adelaidemtbtrails.com/eagle-mtb-park/,
BUT I can not find any MTB NEAR Newcastle , Only the Awaba State park that is 27 Km from the CBD!!
Are you letting truth get in the way of a good story????

I did find a very beautiful Fernleigh Rail trail 12 km long, that went from ?? coal mine? to the coast at Belmont.

Our closest scenic wise, is the 35 km long Linear park that follows the Torrens River from the hills to the sea, BUT it might be too LONG for you as it would be a 70 Km return trip!
http://playandgo.com.au/index.php/river-torrens-linear-park-a-leisurely-trail/

 

[super slim]

I was actually chuckling thinking back to traveling Europe disguised as a Canadian (hey it was the late 80s) and watching the Aussie men hunt american woman for sport; while we all tried to hide from the Assusie women of the day. But I can't really post that now because it's a tad sexist for even non PC personality . But I did learn to drink beer like an Aussie and for that I will forever be thankful. Although somewhere I also learned to drink Scotch like a Scottsman; but that would be a different thread.

I'm too old to be allowed to immigrate to your fair country in-spite of the fact that I'd be bringing my business with me and 20+ jobs. Otherwise we'd already live by you..... So perhaps I'm just bitter....

I suppose that your accent must be close to a Canadian's, as you live close to the border!!!
You must be OVER 65 years, but you look younger than that!!!
It must be the lack of sun, and ALL that snow!!!

IF you were allowed into Australia, where would you settle????

 

[super slim]

political correctness has stifled debate long enough. you watch out for our sheilahs mate they will break your back in a few ways. sexism or no i am sending our elle macpherson at over 51 years of age to do it for you. she is a good sheilah and should have been a chiropractor.

it is a broad church we belong . " disguised as a canadian" that is so funny to an aussie. not sure how are canadian friends will feel........... i have guessed wrong a few times i admit. apologies.

aussie men hunting american women..... i can imagine the sparkling conversation over the gulf.

aust male "owzitgoindidjahavagoodweekend"

american female "sorry there" "um hi there"

aust. " i said owyergoin mate how waz the weekend"

american "i am not your mate and it is a monday" and thinking who is this person from south africa or ireland??????????????

aust thinking bloody yanks dont listen "nah mate youve got the wrong end of the stick but we could be mates if you can tell where i come from mate." thinking again she'll be right fair suck of the sav if i havent given her a clue enough. struth mate septics.

american with confused bored disdain "south africa???? right no ireland right"

australian "crappo sheeat next"

truth be known the ocker is long gone as a stereotype and our cultural cringe has somewhat abated. never the less there is still that unique knockabout almost egalitarian character that values the garbo as much as the doc. and we can discuss anything anytime anywhere. personal problems just tell a mate.

sadly we are more litigious and fatter than americans and are starting to take ourselves a little too seriously............ all that fatness in spite our great export the cruzbike.

we are very nearly the 51st state of the u.s of a.

should of stuck to being limey bastards maybe

great having this cultural exchange.

Yanks just can not understand Aussie speech!!!

 

[jond]

Yanks just can not understand Aussie speech!!!

our lingo is just that. i guess someone from texas might have issue understanding a new yorker fast speech.

funny how we all talk mostly the same...............

look again slim glenrock reserve 5 klm out of town. 3 undeveloped beaches and natural bushland. the beautiful track you mention is the fernleigh track where i ride everyday 15klm end to end which bounds and intersects the bushland reserve. it is all coastal and i ride at least 400klm per week. not 4klm

i am a big city boy from sydney b4 i came to newie. give me small enough town everyday.

not a great fan of rugby union to many stops and ref whistles. newie has an nrl league team. yes they are all short necked brick dunnies usually as intelligent as a brick with eyes with is exactly why glen lazarus raised himself up to a career as a senator in the australian parliament. tough and some are smart enough .

one of our players recently went to play grid iron in the states. his name is jarryd hayne.

many afl players have done so too all for their incredible kicking abilities with their manicured finger nails painted a nice hue of pink.

i note the size of the gridiron players as bigger than league guys but they wear armour and still get injured. big big hits. brutal. but yeah i dont get the fuss.......... we are used to what we grew up with. lucky to embrace anything new.

now stop procrastinating and ride in your wonderland i hope you are recovered from your injury.

 

[bladderhead]

Oy, Dame Edna, who are you calling a Limey bastard?

 

[jond]

who are you calling a Limey bastard?

doth thee knoweth i harketh from pontefract born in blighty and am allowed the utterance pom and bastard in my ever self deprecating disarming polarising offensive unintentional i am sorry if i did style.

world citizens stand up and ride your cruzbike.

 

[jond]

IF you were allowed into Australia, where would you settle????

slim ratz was talking to me when he positively affirmed he would love to live in newcastle. please accept the umpires decision as bowled not lbw. no review required.

 

[ratz]

I suppose that your accent must be close to a Canadian's, as you live close to the border!!!
You must be OVER 65 years, but you look younger than that!!!
It must be the lack of sun, and ALL that snow!!!

IF you were allowed into Australia, where would you settle????

I dooooon't knooows whadt's yoooouz being tawking aboot; so I will goes downs to da bar and have ber on da boooat.

 

[jond]

I dooooon't knooows whadt's yoooouz being tawking aboot;

ratz you have prompted the bestowing of an honorary aussie citizenship award as a good bloke.

good onya mate.

please practice daily............. recite mantra............. " she'll be right mate" " fair dinkum" "what a dag"

"struth mate drinking brown water is worse than eating yella snow" "bonza" "love my footie" "im flat out like a lizard drinking"

cheers mate

 

[super slim]

Ratz, we EXPECT to see an attached tape recording of you saying Jond's mantra!!!!!!!!!

We will NOT laugh at you!!!

HONEST!!!

 

[bladderhead]

i harketh from pontefract born in blighty

"Dame Edna" I called you? Sorry, Compo.

It's grim oop north

 

[bladderhead]

Actually, jond is right. World citizens. All this tribalism is daft. We should leave that to the BROL flamers.

 

[MrSteve]

Actually, jond is right. World citizens. All this tribalism is daft. We should leave that to the BROL flamers.

Yeah!

 

[ratz]

I should add a "censor" setting that automatically translates BROL --> Bragging Righteousness On-Line.... but I like Bryan too much.

 

[Zzzorse]

You obviously have not seen the Crows (Adelaide) play AFL...

Not my team, but have watched the Crows' last two games. Exciting stuff, but wish you had beaten Hawthorn.

 

[jond]

or sydney swans ..............stone the crows mate pigs will fly

 

[super slim]

or sydney swans ..............stone the crows mate pigs will fly

OF COURSE the Crows Football team beat the over watered SOFT Sydney Swans, as they had not got used to running with no handcuffs on!!!
Being from the Premier Convict State!!!

 

[jond]

Being from the Premier Convict State!!!

those free settlers in 1836 were shown pictures of beautiful sydney harbour. little did they know they were being employed as the first sewerage workers in the country drainhole.

that galah raven mad game stoned crows v swans made page 57 of the telegraph. cawwwwwwwww

still the graceful classy swans have taken a few aerial ladies blouse ping pong contests out lately not like those bedraggled sunfried thirsty open cropped crows scavenging road kill eating smelly birdlike handbag carrying croweaters.

is it true you are not supposed to eat the feathers?????

when did you say the last premiership was for the crows slim ....... i cannot remember something to do with almost a couple of decades ago..............

long time between drinks there mate but you would be used to that.



now for your edification i am a manly rugby league supporter since the early seventies.

now take your shot i expect a barrage .

nb for any of our american and international brothers and sisters this banter is a laugh for slim and I and in good jest. we aussies like to yank the chain. (nothing to do with americans ha ha )

gotta run .....snags sizzling

 

[quickbeam]

Yeah, I'm not sure that is English.

On another note, I was reading about the history of the selfie, and of course people have taken pictures of themselves for as long as there's been cameras, but the first time the word "selfie" was used was apparently by an Aussie, who took a picture of himself after he fell down - while drunk of course. Leave it up to a drunk Aussie to widen our vocabulary!

 

[super slim]

those free settlers in 1836 were shown pictures of beautiful sydney harbour. little did they know they were being employed as the first sewerage workers in the country drainhole.

that galah raven mad game stoned crows v swans made page 57 of the telegraph. cawwwwwwwww

still the graceful classy swans have taken a few aerial ladies blouse ping pong contests out lately not like those bedraggled sunfried thirsty open cropped crows scavenging road kill eating smelly birdlike handbag carrying croweaters.

is it true you are not supposed to eat the feathers?????

when did you say the last premiership was for the crows slim ....... i cannot remember something to do with almost a couple of decades ago..............

long time between drinks there mate but you would be used to that.



now for your edification i am a manly rugby league supporter since the early seventies.

now take your shot i expect a barrage .

nb for any of our american and international brothers and sisters this banter is a laugh for slim and I and in good jest. we aussies like to yank the chain. (nothing to do with americans ha ha )

gotta run .....snags sizzling

Jond have you fallen over recently and hit your head, as you are talking gibberish!!! (*rap!!!)

In 1778 there were NO FREE settlers in NSW, only prisoners,(775 on the first fleet in 1778) and soldiers!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convicts_in_Australia

Now in 1836 there were ONLY FREE settlers in SA, in fact SA was the ONLY state with no convict penal colonies!!!!!!
http://www.slsa.sa.gov.au/fh/passengerlists/BeginningYourJourney-FoundingColony.htm


Page 57 is the START of the sports section at the back of the paper!!!

The South Melbourne / Swans (from 1982) team premierships, were in 1918 (WW1), 1933 (Depression), then 72 years later in 2005 (23 years after the South team relocated to Sydney as the Swans!!), then 2012.

In contrast, the Crows team was created in 1991, and 6 years later had back to back Premierships in 1997 & 1998. It has been a few years (17) since the hay days!!!

Manly has only won 8 Rugby League premierships since 1947, with the last being 2011, with its hay day in the 70's with back to back premierships in 1972,1973!
Were you playing then, as a 30 year old player???

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Manly_Warringah_Sea_Eagles

You always eat the feathers to reduce the hunger pains! That is an unwritten law, in the driest State of the driest Continent of the world!!!